Sou'wester

Issue date: 2/11/09 Section: Opinion

1. Tabula Rasa - People can change (for the worse). Someone you knew in the past before may be different person now; so assume a blank slate. Additionally, check your own personal baggage at the gate. Avoid conversations about ex's and restraining orders.

2. Listen closely - On the first date, the other person may be quiet and reserved. Chances are, if they like you, they'll open up and reveal some of their insecurities. Ignore these telling prompts, or listen and make a sound judgment as to whether you want to devote your time, future and resources to this person. If the date drags, stay classy by feigning interest.

3. Drop a bomb - Launching a few vague statements (which can be interpreted in a multitude of ways) allows you to witness your date's natural personality tendencies. Learn whether he or she is easily offended, playful, or just plain naughty. If it backfires, you can always play it off as a joke.

4. Curb the lust - The best way to keep your mind out of the gutter on the date is to visit the gutter beforehand (no pun intended). Do you want them to find YOU irresistible?. Wear tight pants to let them know you mean business.

5. Explore comfort zones - Do you like the theater? Ballgames? Gentleman's Clubs? Take your date somewhere where you like to go and see how they act outside of his or her comfort zone. The key is in exploring common interests and compatibility.

6. Don't jump - Committing too soon is just as bad as coming too soon. Don't hesitate to make future plans without consideration for this person. Enjoy the moment as much as you can. We often gain as much personal insight from bad dates as we do from great ones.

7. Have a glass of wine -Or five. Doing what loosens you up can help set a mood of exploration. Avoid liquor which contains alcohol and beer which leads to conversations about beer.

8. Family Ties - Ask them about their family. If they use the term "crazy mom" or "psycho dad", watch out. This is especially true for Rhodes kids. You should love the people who broke the bank to send your slacker ass to this beautiful place so you can ride a statue and theorize about life's unanswerable questions. Like...

9. To stalk or not to stalk? - Facebook or MySpace holds important clues into the social life of your date. Your concern should be social compatibility. Jealous types may want to steer clear from flirtatious types. Unsure about whether or not they like you? It never hurts to poke.

10. Taking the next step - When the date goes so well that you feel like you are floating, try something bold. But if asking for a kiss or a second date feels awkward, you probably shouldn't. Better off repeating #4...

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